Nicodemus

This was it.
Decision time.
D Day
With a capital D.
I had to decide,
today;
this afternoon;
in fact
any time
now.
I really wasn’t
in any fit state
for major
life-changing
decisions.
I was
tired,
depressed,
exhausted.
It had been
such
a traumatic week,
coming to a head
last night
when they had
arrested,
tried and
sentenced
Jesus.
And then
today
they had
killed
Him.
Death
on a
cross
The worst way
to die.
I had met Him.
I admired Him.
I liked Him.
But
now I have
to decide.



Do I like Him enough
to follow Him?
Do I admire Him enough
to give up all this
for Him?
Do I want to lose
my position,
my status,
my job,
my friends,
my home,
maybe even
my life
for someone
I don’t really know,
and who, anyway,
is dead?
This is foolish,
senseless,
mad.
He’s dead.
I saw Him die.
Why am I even
having this discussion
with myself?
Why am I even
considering
going out on a limb
like this?
What is there to gain?

That’s it;
The crux of the argument.
What is
there to gain?
When I talked
with Him
He tried to tell me
about
a better way;
a better place;
a better life,
- for eternity.
It unsettled me then
but it has stayed
in my mind.
I have thought about
what it could mean.


I have thought about it
often.
I thought I had time
to consider;
to come to a decision.
But now,
today
I have to choose.
And if
I say yes
then there is
no going back.
I will have
burnt my boats.
Am I ready?
Am I prepared for this?
Am I?

Joseph
has arrived.
It’s now
or never.




© Kathleen Wilks